Can you trust a gambian man

Tracey- I am a British girl age 35 in relationship with a gambian man for 1. I must say that we do have problems but thats life sometimes his fault sometimes mine. In any country both men and women do have negative and positive behaviours or act what are read here applies to all other countries in the maybe west is even worst.

My advice is pray to meet a good man or women. My gambian man is true loving, caring, honest and human. Good luck in your search. Mine has shown no signs of this. Thank you for being positive. Mine calls me each evening spending 50 dalasi of his 80 dalasi daily wage.

Lisa- I just met a guy on FB. My question is, what is up with these dilipate names. Frist and last name. His is Essa Touray. There are a few guys with the same name,and they all are on each others friend list Essa,says he is No kids,no girl friend,no wife,and he his an officer, drug agent. I dont believe him. I would love to crack the mystery tho. He says he lives in a compound by his self. Lies,gotta be Gambian men are known not to cook,wash clothes, or clean up.

So I asked him out of the blue. Who cooks for you. I think he almost choked,then said he rents a basin of food ect. I bet he has a wife. When he calls,alot of times I can hear a child,he says she lives in the compound and not his. Caz- be very careful very cautious not all the same I met my estranged husband in uk while he was visiting he was kind attentitve loving tick all the boxes i spend time in gambia with his family after 3 years we marry I bring him and his young son to uk then things change he start doing things to make me mad then he collect all evidence he could to make a case after some months he leave and make allegations against me of domestic violence to get his papers would take money my belongings would be missing that was over a year ago in which time I find out he have wife in gambia also another child he conceive with his wife after our marriage.

I am still experiencing problems in this refusing to divorce me. But I have also met some very good people also honest and loyal so it really does depend on the person but one sure way to know is if they pressure you for money or try make you feel guilty.

Now I do have a good Gambian man who stands by my side. Mayon- Interested why this story sounds like a guy I met on fb name Assan Jallow but he lives in Italy. Claim he works in the school as a English translator for Italian music students. When u do u go right ahead and name and shame him.. Stay away from Gambians. They only lie and use you. Ruqia- I think we should all post there names and date of birth because alot of gambians have first and last names that are exactly the same.

Has and Gambian ex that apperanly run off with a British man and their daughter. We met in afrointroduction. Jeana- I think we should all post there names and date of birth because alot of gambians have first and last names that are exactly the same.

Usually people start dating in their teens, although in the rural areas courting can begin earlier than that. People date and go out more or less freely with each other in the urban area, while in the rural areas things are much more controlled because the community is very small.

Young people dating do not physically express their love in public except at parties or when they are amongst people their own age. As a woman, don't be surprised if a man comes and tells you he loves you; that is how it is done.

If a man approaches a woman then no matter how long the conversation the words 'nobb' or 'sop' may come up. The word actually means "like" but very often they are mistranslated by local people who think it means "I love you", but actually it means "I like you". I had faith in everything he told me and everything was true. I was heartbroken that my husband moved in with another woman so I had a spell to bring him back home and stop the affair he had with her.

In just 2 days he left her and went to live at the motel. He called to say so and get news of the kids. The discussion was pleasant, as if he was changing to become the man I knew when we got married. It was exactly as you said…. You are the best Dr Otor All I can decently say is that you changed my life and saved the most important thing in my life: My Family.

He will ask for a mobile phone and will say his is very old and he will try and guilt you into buying one DONT he will say i really need a new phone my family will laugh at me with this old phone. He will try and get your Bankcard and password and say my last girlfriend give me her bank card and password for the card this is very early on he will try this. He has a son and he will ask for you to buy him a bag for school and want you to fund his school and buy him other things.

He will force you to be a mother to his son and you have the baggie of all his family,cousins, Brothers and much more their not an independent they will not leave you in peace its what they can get out of you.

Most of them deal in drugs to fund their way in life and are not from a loving caring honset place in their hearts.

Cherno has two Failed marriages and a year-old drug on a dating website he really does not have a lot going for him. When going through depression due to relationship break up, it seems your happiness have been quenched. I like how you said that finding a lawyer to help you out. Hello everyone! In response to the hundreds of comments above I have opened up a new thread for you to share your stories or ask any questions! I am married to a Gambian man and he has been in Canada for a year now, we were married in I am more understanding of the black people then I am of white people.

I met a Gambian man online. Recent dating site. We started talking. Soon I realized he lied about his age. Said he was 35 me 37 and after we were talking close and planning the visit he admited he is around Well around…do u know how old you are?

He was This was basically the turbiny point where I should take off and leave and block him I guess. Anyways we started moving forward bc after all I thought we should meet up to really get to know eachother better anyway.

He went me his details. His passport and driving license etc. I decided to travel there for a week of holidays. I needed to rent a car for him to pick me up from the airport.

He sorted the basic place to stay for me. The trip was fine. I met his family. His brothers sisters mother. Lots of children. Everybody loved me and I loved everybody. I felt he was protective.

I felt taken care of minus I was paying for everything. All shopping all eating out all gas…everything. Especially kids…. Better give this change as pocket money for the kids of you fam who I know who I know go to school etc. Lots of times he was just quiet and glanced at me…. I did not realize that very moment that women really have little voice over there. Men are in charge do me putting comments was iritating him very much.

Over all my trip was satisfying. Nothing bad happened to me. I got to know his family. I was happy. I would like to mention here I did not go there for sex. Now after I had reached home we have had about two weeks of strong missing going on. And slowly time started deteaching us. I noticed tho that he was online long nights so kind of weird.

He started being quiet. So I worried. So ofc I worried. What happened? And it all started going down the hill: Im missing for my room rent, missing money for my daughter I should send…. I said. U having such a big family pls go live with your brother or mom to avoid rent and just go to any reg job…driving, construction.

He said. Yes Ill do that. Then again he asked: what did you say about the car? I mentioned bfor that having a cousin in Germany and will do my best to get a cheap old BMW to ship to him do he can work as an independant driver.

I responded that we need to wait a full month for this bc the costs of shipping are such. And that pisses me off. Bc how can he b able to borrow for a car and not having noone there to help with the basics. I think he most likely occupy it with his Black woman. Today I am sure Gambian men lie to white women a lot. They see you as an ATM. I think also Gambian men on majority have troubles with respecting women in general. And if I can advice anyone.

I want to say to women it os ok to make friends and same time remember not to go beyond your posibilities and pockets to help them. Really I did not see a single person hungry or homeless over there in TG. I said I was sorry and moved on never heard from again. Not sitting here heartbroken bc I did not loose nothing. He also did not loose nothing.

Once the Hope for money is cut off the love is gone. Meantime while still talking I apllied for the legal invitation for him to visit me in Polan. When the invitation comes all stamped Ill send him the pic of it. I still love the ppl there and the country. Dont push yourself and involve too much bc the relationship means the efford together. You should know it was your great grandfathers and praised leaders whom created the desperate situation my Gambian brothers and sisters find themselves in.

Not once will you accept never have and never will accept that we are human beings just like yourselves. If you are cut you bleed just like us, if your mothers and daughters, you home and your way of life are causally raped and murdered you will be traumatised in a multitude of ways for a very long time — just like us. You white people love to judge but you never evaluate yourselves and the many crimes your world is built upon.

You distance yourself from your reality then go to my home and take advantage of the desperate circumstances of Gambian men. You all know they have nothing and are desperate — what the hell would you expect! Open your eyes and smell the coffee, look in the mirror and ask yourself with history in mind , what am I actually doing in Africa. There are some sad histories that are unfortunate and regrettable but nobody alive today is to blame for that!

Hi Mrs Coly, thanks for visiting the site and leaving a comment. Indeed I do understand the history behind the slave trade, the discussion here though is not about slavery, it is about deceitful men who trick women out of their money and who play them to get a British passport.

I do not see the connection to slavery from years gone by here at all! I married a Guinean guy who I met in Gambia after a two year courtship and several trips to visit him in West Africa. He appeared to pass every test. When we met we were not privy to the extensive social media we have now. With the help of Facebook and Skype I learned that he had children I did not know about and at least one other wife. After three years of marriage and living in the UK, and following a very traumatic time in my life, I managed to remove him from my home with the assistance of police.

Apart from the endless lies, deceit and affairs even with one of my closest friends his two years of charm turned into physical, financial and emotional abuse at the very least. I have since met many women who have endured the same fate. They knew my story and had witness my pain and suffering. These are not foolish, stupid or desperate women.

We are all professional and, I like to think, intelligent if not emotionally intelligent which came as a surprise. These men are so incredibly genius at their craft in grooming women.

They are taught from an early age how to cast this spell on European women, and how to extricate as much money as possible from them, and their families. It is a phenomenon I am still in awe of! If you are thinking of marrying someone from one of these countries, then at least accept some responsibility for your actions. To pluck someone from their culture, families, music, food, homes and religions and plant them in a first world country brings its problems whatever the subterfuge behind their demands.

The novelty of a flushing toilet soon wears off and depression will set in. I was married to a gambian man for 10 years! I lost my business and home and am now fighting to get a British court order served and recognised in Gambia under the reciprocal arrangement act! This divorce court order gives me vacant possession of a villa I bought and paid for.

This has been ongoing now for 5 years and 3 Gambian solicitors! My ex is living there now for 6 months of the year claiming to be a business man! Such a joke! The Gambian court finally recognised the order and served eviction papers only for him to get pro bono lawyer who works with all the judges and has now got a stay!!!

We really believed the new president would sort all this corruption within the court system! I am planning to go to The Gambia and move into the villa until this process is completed! I am involving the uk ambasador to The Gambia and my local m.

This is a civil matter but it seems lots of Europeans are being taken advantage of by this reciprocal arrangement they signed up to! Please be very careful when getting involvedwith Gambian men and purchasing holiday homes there! They all have friends in high places it seems. My ex was already living in uk when I met him and I knew him for 3 years before we married. Turns out even his birth certificate was bought! He was several years older than I believed!!! I love gambia and it has do much potential now but the legal system needs a complete overhaul before you can risk putting any faith in it!

I was married to a Gambian man for many years. Sadly he passed away in February of this year. We met in the UK so status was never an issue. During the entirety of our marriage his family placed him under an enormous amount of pressure for money yet he refused my many offers of financial help. I am a Gambian man living in the US. And yes I came here for better life like the millions of Europeans who came to settle here. Before you begin throwing those insults on Gambian men, perhaps ask yourself what those white women are doing there in the first place.

If they were worth their salt, they should easily have been able to find s suitable partner in Europe instead of traveling all the way to an impoverished black African country. Between these bumsters and these older white women, none is deceiving the other. My ex husband was Gambian, I was 17 when we met and he lied to me about his real name, age and country of origin. We had two children together and he has never once provided for them and after our divorce I found out he had been using my social security number to open credit cards and take out loans.

And yes…he prays five times a day and even dressed like an Imam Islamic religious leader. Really backwards way of thinking. I understand poverty leads people to do crazy, desperate things. The mental abuse and financial exploitation was a slow and insidious process that began when I was pregnant with our first child. An uncomfortable number of the Gambian men I knew assumed all white people are rich, evil and deserving of being taken advantage of.

I was used by my husband saiga sowe.. Why waste even more of your money on legal action? You will never get it back in a million years, so see it as a lesson learnt. The money will be already spent. He told me what went wrong with my husband and how it happen.

People call Doctor Iruwa a nice man but i call him a God sent! Do you need help i will advice you to contact Dr with this information: website:www.

Mariama you are 1 deluded nasty racist sexist fool. You Gambians are all over the white women like leaches, i had to litterally peel you all off me yuk. I see you all run to the coaches as soon as the whites arrive and you are stuck to them sucking up to them till they go home and the next coach load arrive. You are all married playing your little games, i saw through it all in 2 seconds sadly most are easy manipulated, why? I really do not know. How dare u bash all gambian men just because u had an experience with one person nobody is forcing you to come to our country we was living peacefully before you mfs came and force us out of our country n turn us into working tools you white people are full of shit.

Hahaha, i never see some one more uselles than Gambians till now. The only think they now how to do is eat sleep and dans and spend.

I met my Gambian boyfriend who is a British citizen in the uk 13 years ago I am British he had been married 3 times before we met and I had 2 failed marriages. I know what I would do!! Sadly this is very common. We kow live with Police Forces and the Home Affairs Select Committee to get this issue addressed and where they can be — prosecuted and deported. Contact us to. Just put our name onto Google. We can also link you with women who have gone through exactly the same.

However it was very difficult to disentangle myself, took about a year. They just move on and hit on the next unsuspecting woman as mine did. And then had the cheek to text me as well asking how I was! Thsnks for posting this.

If so drop me an email at [email protected]. Well done Buba. I still cannot fathom how most of these women fail to see the real picture. My question is, are you going to The Gambia to enjoy the sun and sea or to secure hot-blooded men?

I know a Swedish lady who is on her third Gambian husband. She is in her 60s and all these husbands are at least 20 years younger. She brought the two previous husbands to Sweden and they both left her after getting their papers. If you honestly believe a yr old would fall for a yr old, you are deluded. What is it with Gambian men that is so appealing?

Is it the things they say to you? Is it the sex? Is it the idea of being with a much younger man? If they are so atrocious according to this thread, why even give them a time of day? If they are so appalling, why keep going back? Why are these women in such a rush to marry these men? I am genuinely curious. If someone is too keen and in such a haste to marry you, you need think rationally.

If something seems too good to be true, it probably is. Someone mentioned here that the smiles Gambian give to tourists are fake smiles. That is a very unfair comment I must say. If I were to go by experience, I could make a negative generalisation about Brits but that would be biased. I would encourage tourists to not just stick around the beaches and Senegambia area when they do visit The Gambia. Most of these places are obviously hot spots for opportunists.

May I add that there are also poor Gambians who strive to better themselves in humble ways. You will probably have a whole different perspective of The Gambia and her peole if you widened your horizon. So right, Sai. ALL kinds of women fall for these guys and why? They get the attention and feel special and want a project to save and help. Why do standards drop so low when women are on holiday? They would never do that in their hometown. These guys are raking the money in with their sob stories and laughing.

Holidays are holidays, not for being a cashpoint. And as for the guys — respect yourselves instead of marrying grave-dodgers and waiting for their pensions. This what other Gambian men do… check this out.. Buy a tee shirt made by a Gambian. No time for spell check, but you get the gist.. Look do not put all Gambian in one basket, you would not put all Americans in the same basket or other men from different countries. I am Gambian and I am appalled by your accusations. I got my A levels, my bachelors degree and my masters and I know many Gambian who have.

False tales with false men…I had about old British grannies marrying young Gambian men, that is child molestation. They are just desperate to have a better life Angela and they use their seduction techniques to get a toubab to fall for them.

There are some honest ones but usually they are liars and cheats with wives and kids who are all in on it for financial gain. Usually they end up skint and get dumped for the next victim.

My husband is 45 from Gambia I am 41 from Michigan. All this stuff I read is crazy. I met my husband here in Dallas 2yrs after I moved here. He has always treated me with the upmost respect. Very loyal and faithful husband.

He was married before. He has one child from the marriage. They are no longer married. She remarried and lives in Sweden. Maybe I got blessed but this so called research is ridiculous. Tina not all Gambians are fraudsters. That would be like saying all Romanians are which would be ridiculous however in Romania there is a sub culture of Romanian Gypsies who are expert at picking pockets! Hi Kim ,i will ask him but when we got married at the registrar office he had a silver ring on his left hand ,i asked him before what was the ring for , he told me it was because all Muslims wear them , , we put the rings on the table in front of us ,and when , then i put the ring i gave him on the left hand, when finished outside he took it off and put the silver ring back on the left hand and mine on the right hand , now i read here some said the silver one is a wedding ring.

Hi, thank you for your reply , but it didnt have a big lump on it just a round ring ,i noticed he did not have it on when he sent me a photo of him , he told me he lost it , and still had the wedding ring on the right hand.

Sorry I have no idea. The Red Flags are usually more obvious e. Big age differences are a Red Flag and also if the spouse has low self esteem, maybe fatter than most, disabled the reason for this is in the UK the immigration process is different and there is no financial threshold. The fraudsters share knowledge on who to target and the pick up lines to use so the patterns of courtship very similar and always they speak of love very early in the relationship and move to a quick marriage.

If a target takes a breather and reflects that they are the ones financially paying for their lives together they can realise that this is a bad sign. The UK sees about cases a year — both men and women targets. The sophisticated fraudsters will go on as long as it takes to get citizenship and until they can take any financial assets you have in a divorce. This is becoming more common and victims are finding aide memoires in their spouses possessions.

Emerson Vermaat an eminent dutch investigative journalist wrote a paper on the fraud. The Gambia is interesting because they have combined immigration marriage fraud with a belief structure in African magic.

They will go to the Marabout to get spells to help them to carry out the frauds. This is similar to Sakawa from Ghana put the word into You Tube this is a fusion of the Akan belief and online dating frauds. There is also a link with immigration marriage fraud and online dating scams. Often the victim finds them using dating site. Last week we had one case where the victim found out that not only was her husband married with a child but that he also had numerous aliases and was on 20 dating sites with false profiles.

But we have to be clear I am not talking about all Gambians — I am talking about the fraudsters amongst the Gambians. Yeah if you wish, email me at [email protected]. I am glad to have found your blog. My organization, International Wives of African Men, gears to bring together women married to nor dating African men.

Hoping to speak with you soon about these experiences and how best to help women in these situations. Hold onto that feeling…….. He could provide you with her birth certificate which would name the mother and from there you could check out with divorce certificates which you need to obtain because it is very easy to get fake ones. What is his immigration status?

You would be surprised the numbers that hold out till Citizenship is obtained and then disappear and suddenly as a British Citizen turn up with their real wife. I got caught so I know what I am talking about hence we we set up the support, research and campaign group.

I felt secrets throughout my married life but it was like I went to grab them but when I opened my hands there was nothing there……. One victim met her husband in the UK and fell pregnant, then found out he had a Gambian wife with 4 children and then found out that he had married another in the UK in a Nikah ceremony and had sired two other children!!!!

Say that you want to go and if he objects, there may be a problem. Remember, if he is muslim, they are allowed several wives but the wifes have to know about eachother. Good luck. European old,sick,delapidated women and men thought we are fools ,but they are the fools ,they came for interest and we saw them ,they where here about years back what have they left for us ,only unGodlyness, prostitution, indecent life,,,,please we have better culture and people than them… For UK they are the worse ,look all over the world where they colonized ,they have done nothing for the people they enslaved.

In the main towns and tourist areas there are those hunting for the fresh meat, male and female, but outside of those areas Gambians are very different and even the poorest will share their last food with you and ask for nothing. But even so culturally, religiously and legally Gambians can have up to four wives and yes even with the good Gambians a toubab is a catch, but the cultural nuances and expectations can be very different. Gambians tend to think for the day for survival and it is tough for them, Some make a living out of bumbstering the toubabs, but that is not most Gambians.

When your in even as good relationship remember the family member with the most is culturally expected to support the rest of the family, that could be people, Gambians all still have their extended family and you cannot just have a relationship with one person. Having lived in the Gambia for two years doing development work, I have seen it all. The good the bad and the misunderstandings.

I love the people and the country. As I say it is a process and it helps to have a guide through the toubab pitfalls. It is a shame that the tourist areas have the reputation they do, they are not Gambia or the real Gambians. Lots of women come here for the sex and the boys on the beach are happy to oblige, but do not expect an honest relationship, You get them and you give them money and they will give you excuses, some will be true others wont.

You will get a particular character who will take what you give them. I see the old women with the young boys and even the majority of Gambians frown at it. I still get chased in the tourist areas, but I know how to deal with it now. I get Gambians on FB who dump me when they find out I live here and I know how to assess them if they just want money, or those that are genuine.

As a Brit ex pat, I am happy to advise on how to avoid the toubab effect, in what ever area: its a small country but is like a big family so checking prospective spouses, who to use to see the country, the real cost of things or even volunteering or genuine things to help with funding.

I have a lot health ailments I have been researching about cures on the Internet and I have found that I need a medicine man from Gambia or Africa. Do you know of any medicine man? Or do u know somebody in Gambia who knows of a good medicine man?

Please contact me if you can help me. Your help will b much appreciated as I am going through a very rough time Thanks. I know that everything here is about gambian man, but i have a question how about young gambian girls from 20 — 25 years old?

This year two men sought our help at Immigration Marriage Fraud UK because they found out that the wives they married also had husbands….!!!! Never marry in The Gambia because if fraud is found out later down the line you cannot get the UK Police to investigate. I have been married to a Gambian man for five years. We married quickly third visit to Gambia as it is against his religion to be with me and not married.

I am married under Islamic law! One of the reasons this is requested is to obtain a visa more easily. My husband has never been to England. After five years I now live in The Gambia…. We rent a compound. We share the cost of cash power and water… He buys more food than I do. He is fifteen years younger than me.

I am When I was 45 I went out with a 25 yr old English man!!!!